Sunday Spam?

[RcHeliwidow]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]AUNTY SHARON
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment to
get their Parents to tell them a story with a moral at the
end.


The next day the kids came back and one by one told their
stories. Karl said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot
of egg laying chooks. One time we were taking our eggs to
market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit
a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and
broke and made a mess.'


'What's the moral of the story?' asked the teacher. 'Don't
put all your eggs in one basket!' 'Very good,' said the
teacher.


Next little Emily raised her hand and said, 'Our family are
farmers too. But we raise chooks for the meat market. One
day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got
ten live chicks and the moral to this story is: 'Don't count
your chickens before they're hatched'.'



'That was a fine story Emily. Mick, do you have a story to
share?'



'Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty
Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and
her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory
and all she had was 3 bottles of rum, a machine gun and a
machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of
100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the
machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed
twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then
she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'



'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of
moral did your father tell you from that horrible story?'



'Stay the f*ck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been on the
p*ss.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]:spam:[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[t4ttyt3ddy]

Well that made me chuckle alot, good fun whilst waiting for the CX2 batteries to charge!!

[RcHeliwidow]

[COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta]WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=magenta]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B]

[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta]Keep reading-they get better!!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B]



[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
[/FONT]



[LEFT][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=#008040][FONT=Tahoma][B]WOMEN'S REVENGE[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana][B]"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/LEFT]
[COLOR=magenta][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B]

[LEFT][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]As she fumbled for her wallet[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/LEFT]

[/B][CENTER][LEFT][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma][B],[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/LEFT]
[/CENTER]
[/FONT][/COLOR][CENTER][LEFT][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=green][FONT=Verdana][B]I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/LEFT]
[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]

[LEFT][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]


[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/LEFT]
[/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][CENTER][LEFT][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B][COLOR=#008040][FONT=Verdana][B]and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/LEFT]




[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Verdana][B]UNDERSTANDING WOMEN[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma][B](A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]I know I'm not going to understand women.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][CENTER][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and still be afraid of a spider.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]




[CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]CIGARETTES[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][B][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]AND TAMPONS[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B]
[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=sienna]A man[/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]walks into a pharmacy[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and wanders up & down the aisles.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The sales girl notices him[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and asks him if she can help him.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Arial][B]He answers that he is looking for[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]a box of tampons for his wife.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]She directs him down[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]the correct aisle.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A few minutes later,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]he deposits [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]a huge bag of cotton[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]balls and a ball of string on the counter.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]She says, confused,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]He answers,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] You see,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]it's like this,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Tahoma][B]yesterday, I sent my wife to the store[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]to get me a carton[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Tahoma][B]of cigarettes, and [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Tahoma][B]she came back [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Tahoma][B]with a tin of tobacco[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and some [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]rolling[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]papers; cause [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]much cheaper.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]So, I figure[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]if I have to roll my own[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]........ so does she.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B](I figure this guy is the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]one on the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]milk carton!)[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]


[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
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[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Tahoma][B]WIFE VS. HUSBAND[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B]
[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Verdana][B]A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]

[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]An earlier discussion had led to an argument and[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]neither of them wanted to concede their position.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][CENTER][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Verdana][B]As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Verdana][B]the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Verdana][B]"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]


[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
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[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]WORDS[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B]
[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]30,000 to a man's 15,000.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B][/CENTER]


[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/B][/COLOR][/FONT]




[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]CREATION[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]how you can be[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]so stupid and so[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]beautiful all at[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]the same time.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]"The wife[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]responded, "Allow me to explain.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]

[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]God made me beautiful[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]so you would be[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]attracted to me;[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]God made me[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]stupid so I would be [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]attracted to you[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Tahoma][B] ![/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]


[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
[/FONT]



[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]WHO DOES WHAT [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B]
[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A man and his wife were having an argument about who[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]

[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]should brew the coffee each morning.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B]
[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]"HEBREWS"[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]


[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
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[CENTER][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The Silent Treatment[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B]
[B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]A man and his wife were having some problems at home[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and were giving each other the silent treatment.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]

[B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]He left it where he knew she would find it.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[/B][CENTER][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]see why his wife hadn't wakened him,[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[/COLOR][/FONT][CENTER][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]when he noticed a piece of paper by[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]the bed.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=blue][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][B]
[CENTER][B][SIZE=3][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta]Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]


[FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=magenta][U][FONT=Courier New]_____ [/FONT][/U][/COLOR]
[/FONT]



[CENTER][FONT=Arial Narrow][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]God may have created man before woman, but there is always a [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]rough draft before the masterpiece[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/CENTER]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=magenta]Sorry chaps......... :)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[/CENTER]

[RcHeliwidow]

[COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]TRAIN TICKET

Three women and three men are travelling by train to the football[/FONT][/COLOR][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]

At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]

'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]

They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please. The door opens just a
crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.

The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money. [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Tahoma]

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket at all!!

'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' says one perplexed man.

'Watch and learn,' answer the women.

When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.

The woman knocks on their door and says, 'Ticket, please.'

I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than women.[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue][FONT=Arial]:confused:[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Kwickkwack]

You are a card, I like the one about the ticket.

[Boggy]

all those colours its like being inside a migane!!!:)

and im staying away from aunty shaz!:gnorsi: