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DON'T FART IN BED
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know
and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into
his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years of torture she reckoned she got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were
right.
"All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you," he
replied.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know
and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and it was perfectly
natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day
he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into
his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband with his usual trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years of torture she reckoned she got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were
right.
"All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you," he
replied.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
E.G.S.
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