for the health concious.....

[RcHeliwidow]

[COLOR=magenta][SIZE=4][FONT=Times New Roman][B]Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
[/B]A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; tha t's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. [/FONT][/SIZE]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4] [B]Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4] [B]Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A : YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?[/B] [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: Is chocolate bad for me? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B] Q: Is swimming good for your figure? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][B]Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? [/B][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! [/SIZE][/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]And remember: [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4] 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]AND.....[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]1. The Japanese eat very little fat[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]3. The Chinese drink very little red wine [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. [/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]CONCLUSION[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]Eat and drink what you like.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[/COLOR][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=magenta]Speaking English is apparently what kills you[/COLOR] [/SIZE][/FONT]
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:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[robgt]

LOL

I spotted a flaw :D
Americans don't speak English :D

LOL
Cheers,
Rob

[David Drew]

Wow..I like that ...where's my steak knife?