some jokes to make u guys smile

[nightstalker]

A blonde goes into PC World looking for curtains for her pc.

The assistant says "you don't need curtains for a computer".

The blonde says, "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I've got windows!"




Osama Bin Laden has been arrested in Wales for sheep shagging. He said that they were islambs and he could do what he fcuking wanted with them!

[nightstalker]

This is a test for Intelligent People.....I have determined that you qualify.


The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!





1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?











The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.




2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?







Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.




3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?













Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.



4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?





















Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.



According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

[robgt]

Osama Bin Laden has been arrested in Wales for sheep shagging. He said that they were islambs and he could do what he fcuking wanted with them!

Awesome
Cheers,
Rob

[Fixxxer]

Careful Steve , you can't go saying stuff like that these days.......... You'll upset the welsh again !

[nightstalker]

Careful Steve , you can't go saying stuff like that these days.......... You'll upset the welsh again !

LMFAO

[raptorheli2]

steve, i'd like to re-answer that old questionaire.

1.show me a fridge that a giraffe fits in
2.if you find the answer to no1 then the fridge will surely be big enough for the elephant and giraffe?
3.if above is right then 2 are missing
4.who said i could swim? i'd take the bridge. it doesn't say there isn't a bridge. i assume there is one just the same way they assume i can swim.

does this mean if you get the actual ones you posted correct you over simplify difficult problems? food for thought.


cheers

[Fixxxer]

Clever sod

[robgt]

1. This would fit a giraffe
2. Indeed...
3. No, you take the giraffe out first - poor thing would get cold otherwise!
4. Find the shallow bit and walk across

LOL
Cheers,
Rob

[raptorheli2]

ok, 1 and 2 are settled. nice find! lol

3.but the elephant went in last which means the giraffe is at the back. so will we take the elephant out, then giraffe then pap the elephant back in OR, take the last one in out (elephant) and therefor the giraffe was the one missing?

4.you still get wet, i'm taking the bridge.

cheers

[robgt]

3. It is a walkthough fridge - so the giraffe comes out the back while the heffalump goes in the front

4. Stepping stones from the collapsed bridge

ROFL
Cheers,
Rob

[raptorheli2]

lol, haha.

3.if it's a walkthrough fridge who opened the door to let it out if you opened the door to let the elephant in?

4.ok, the ante has been upped. well i see your collapsed bridge and i raise you..........a seaking. i landed on the other side of the river.

cheers

[robgt]

3. The fridge has 24 hour guards posted to ensure the contents are secure (top secret) - the giraffe knocked on the door and the guard let him out

4. You win

LOL
Cheers,
Rob

[raptorheli2]

3.well f*** me. thats some giraffe. altough if he was so clever how did they persuade it to go in the fridge in the first place?

cheers

[nightstalker]

Gees dudes ant this going abit to far?? no there is no bridge you either swim or drown your shout and yes the fridge is big enough bec if it wasn't then there would be foot prints in the butter and the eggs would be smashed

[robgt]

3. The penguin told it to go in... and you don't mess with the penguins!


Cheers,
Rob