Brodie The Great Helicopter Killer-free batteries to the funniest post.

[Brodie6]

well, temper got the better of me last night, tried every conceivable combination of wiring, motors etc and my Dauphin still wouldn't get off the ground, after hours of farting about with the f*$ker and thinking I had finally got it sussed it still wouldn't fly, the lack of nicotine in my system and the sheer frustration of throwing money down a bottomless pit I took it outside and smashed it to smithereens, felt really good to say goodbye to it tbh, I've had enough of coaxials (except for my buzzfly cx which is still nippy and fun to fly).

The upshot of this is that I have 2 Esky 7.4 800 mah batteries and 2 Outrage 7.4 850 mah 20continuous,40c 34 amp burst batteries that need a good home,

so... you all have till the 25th of May to come up with the funniest anecdote, doesn't have to be about heli's, can be anything, I'll decide the winner on 25th and ask for the winners address, stick the batteries in a jiffy and send them your way.

Unfortunately this little bit of fun can only be open to members in the UK to keep postage down.

All four batteries are almost new with the outrage ones NEVER having a full flight at all and Esky having about five each.

Let's have a good laugh at each other over the next few days.

Hope u all have a great weekend, it's meant to be a scorcher.

All the best

The Great Helicopter Killer.


B

[Brian Gifford]

If anyone is interested, they are a perfect fit in the back of a DX6i - my dauphin is not smashed, just retired, and the batteries have a new role.

[Dannyyy]

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend

[Sqwidge]

Save a whale, kill a dolphin instead.

Brian how would one adapt this to work in a dx6i? And I assume only one battery would be needed?

* boss = woman
* slave = man
* captured = married
* liberated = divorced
* recaptured = remarried
* epsilon = child (for the mathematical symbol)= a little
* to preach = to give a math lecture
* to exist = to do math
* to die = to stop doing math
* trivial being = Someone who does not do math
* to leave = to die
* to arrive = to be born
* Joe = USSR (for Joseph Stalin)
* Sam = USA (for Uncle Sam)
* Sam and Joe show= International news
* Ned = Australia (for Ned Kelly, a famous Australian
bandit from the 19th century)
* János = Hungary (for János Kádár, ruler of Hungary 1956-1988)
* On the long wavelength = communist (for red)
* On the short wavelength = fascist (opposite of red)
* noise = music
* poison = alcohol
* my brain is open = I am ready to do mathematics
* what was that when it was alive? = what kind of meat is that?

[Sqwidge]

No offence meant to anyone in here, so apologies in advance but I thought of another couple:

"Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!"

A Dyslexic walks into a bra......

When I told her I was the king of Dyslexic jokes she asked, "how does that work?, Do you tell the punchline first?"

Just waiting to get flamed now....

[p4ddy]

Hmm?? Well i left a NiMh battery in my work trousers one evening after flying my Sabre along with a screwdriver. The following day i was sat in my lorry in Festival Place service yard when my leg started getting warm. I looked down but saw nothing? My leg started getting hotter & hotter & i was patting my leg with no luck. Then my trousers started smoking & i jumped out my cab & now paniking didn't know what else to do i just pulled my trousers down to my ankles. I then proceeded to try & find the fire in my pants (this one unfortunatley not started by the wife) in just my steel toe caps & Calvin Kleins. I found a melted battery & a screw driver in the pocket. Thanfully there were no other delivery drivers around as it was 5:45am But it's full of cctv although i never got any sniggers from the staff so i got away with my dignity intact.

[t-rex pedro]

No offence meant to anyone in here, so apologies in advance but I thought of another couple:

"Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!"

A Dyslexic walks into a bra......

When I told her I was the king of Dyslexic jokes she asked, "how does that work?, Do you tell the punchline first?"

Just waiting to get flamed now....

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic pimp...............he bought a warehouse!!!!!!!

[Sqwidge]

Why is Dyslexia so hard to spell?

[Brian Gifford]

Save a whale, kill a dolphin instead.

Brian how would one adapt this to work in a dx6i? And I assume only one battery would be needed?

There's a very good thread on here from pipistrelli which details exactly what's required. It can't be that difficult - I did it.

http://www.rcheliaddict.co.uk/transm...nsumption.html

I've had mine working since I read Pip's thread - had to charge 1 battery.

[Brodie6]

Well, I think P4ddy has got to win the batteries with his tale of firey pants, that made me chuckle for a good while, so P4ddy if you would like to send me a pm with your name and address I'll get them posted off to you this week, thanks to those of you who also took part, Sqwidge and Danny came a close second with their posts but pants on fire takes it.

Cheers for bringing a smile to my face guys.

If P4ddy doesn't pm me for the batteries Danny and Sqwidge will both recieve an Esky battery and an Outrage battery each.

All the best

Brodie.

[Sqwidge]

If no pm i'm only looking to fit one in my dx6i so would be more than happy to pass the other along.

[Brodie6]

Ok Nik, will let you guys know if and when P4ddy pm's me, he may only be after a few himself, have a good day and I'll keep you informed.

All the best.

B

[swampy]

ok, so I'm late for this one, but amusing stories ?,,,,,here y'go Brodie,

The Electric Fence.............
We have the standard 6ft. fence in the back garden, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire County.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence charger and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.. Actually, I got the biggest cattle fence charger that I could find, made for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. long Earth pole, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The earth rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back garden with my cheapo 6hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all..

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.
Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain.. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and come at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a Buell S1 pulling 6 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of petrol.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please die... pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 85 degrees, sweating like ****, standing in my own back garden, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created...

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire.... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it.. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a bitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long

8- I can turn on the TV in the lounge by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still dont understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

[Rob O]

Brings tears to you're Eyes , im sure it did to you as well . Absolutely Brilliant mate , the funnyest thing i've read in ages . I only wish i had some spare Lipos to give you . On the other hand though , you probably would'nt want another thing that produces Electrical Current . Cheers Rob .

[squeaky pete]

ok, so I'm late for this one, but amusing stories ?,,,,,here y'go Brodie,

The Electric Fence.............
We have the standard 6ft. fence in the back garden, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire County.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence charger and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.. Actually, I got the biggest cattle fence charger that I could find, made for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. long Earth pole, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The earth rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back garden with my cheapo 6hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all..

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.
Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain.. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and come at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a Buell S1 pulling 6 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of petrol.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please die... pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 85 degrees, sweating like ****, standing in my own back garden, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created...

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire.... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it.. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a bitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long

8- I can turn on the TV in the lounge by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still dont understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

oh **** me i just fell off my chair!!!! that is by far the funniest thing ive heard ever!! period!!! my god, my sides are hurting!!! i cant stop, breathe petey breathe, wipe the tears from your eyes..........